The Holidays
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This train ran in an exhibit benefiting  the Ronald McDonald House last Christmas.  

December 14, 2016​

The most wonderful time of the year. A cliché that we attribute to Christmas time. Unfortunately, for a bereaved parent it can be one of the most heart aching times of the year.

Warm memories of past Christmas’ can fill me with joy and also despair. The first Christmas after Noah died, I could not wait for it to just be over. Celebrating anything hurt too much. It was unnatural to be going through life without my son. Though my heart continues to feel heavy, I can now look forward to the holidays with my living children.

Helping others in need has continued to be one of our family traditions. My kids like doing the angel tree and the Little Loving Hands projects that we do monthly. Once they get older, I hope to be more active in our community to those less fortunate. Doing these things gives me a better boost in spirits than any material item can.

We continue to include Noah during the holidays. I made a book with pictures and memories of the twins’ last Christmas together. Liam pulls it off the shelf many times each year. I still hang up Noah’s stocking that we put notes or drawings for him inside. The twin ornaments and the one with his and Liam’s foot prints are still hung on the tree. It’s obviously not the same as having him with us, but it gives all of us a little comfort during a time where our feelings of missing him are intensified.

When I think of Christmas and Easter in particular, I am reminded why we are here. Christ’s birth and resurrection give me the hope I need. The hope I need that if I work hard following Jesus then I will be reunited with Noah. That’s a reason to celebrate.