October 28, 2015

 
This is a short list of some things I appreciated that others have done on my twins’ birthday since Noah’s death. Click here to find out what we have done as a family on this day.


1. Light a candle in honor of the child’s life.

 
2. Have a Mass/church service said in their memory.


3. Donate to a special cause. Many hospitals take toy donations or have a wish list of most needed items. The Ronald McDonald House also takes donations.

 
4. Do something kind for others. I know this is a vague suggestion, but I had a friend whose child made cards for the children’s hospital.


5. Send a card to the parents. We appreciated those that mentioned Noah in Liam’s birthday card or attached an extra note. Liam knows he is a twin. He talks about Noah often and recognizes their birthday as something that is celebrated together. Keep it brief by including a memory or simply acknowledge that you are thinking about the child.
 

6. Always tell the parents that their child is still in your thoughts even if it is a quick text message. It does not have to be a birthday to do this. There is not a day that their child is not on their minds. I think about Noah just as often as the rest of my children, so bringing him up is not going to make me any sadder. Many parents struggle with trying to keep their child’s memory alive. There are no words that stress enough how important this is.

 
It is tragic that the child is no longer here, but celebrating the child’s birthday is a celebration of life just like celebrating a living person’s birthday. It is a way to honor the memory of the child who is loved and will never be forgotten. 

Acknowledging the Birthday of a Child Who’s Died