August 3, 2016

The first time that question was asked once my third son was a toddler, I was shocked. All I said was no as pleasantly as I could and changed the subject quickly. I have also heard, “They could be twins!” I had not heard “twin talk” since Noah was alive.

These comments and questions are not meant to hurt me but are a trigger to memories of Noah’s tragic death. A stranger does not know our family. There is no question that Liam and Declan look like brothers. Friends and relatives have said Declan reminds them of Noah. Liam and Declan clearly look two different ages with a few years apart to me, but I am their mom and know otherwise.  

I have thought of telling them that Liam is a twin and his brother is in heaven, but have not shared this with the random passerby. If Noah were alive and the question was asked if his brothers were twins or if Noah and Declan were mistaken for twins if Liam was not around, I would simply say no too.

My heart hurts for a moment when I hear this, but I will not allow it to ruin my day. The comment is usually followed up with how precious or beautiful my boys are. They are, and I am so happy to have them. 

Are They Twins?