October 23, 2015

 
The birthday of my twins will always be a bittersweet day. It is exciting to watch Liam grow, but there will always be a longing to share it with Noah. The first birthday after Noah’s death has been the hardest so far. I felt crushed by the birthday cards that wished Happy Birthday to Liam with no mention of Noah, as if he never existed.

 
Many people don’t know what to say, but I really appreciated those who talked about Noah on their birthday whether it was a memory or when they simply wrote, “Happy Birthday Noah and Liam.” I shared with family members and friends how we celebrate Noah’s life on their birthday in the hopes that they would understand how important it is to include him on this day.


This has been our tradition so far that has been celebrated with just my husband, our children and dog. We celebrate the twins’ birthday with Liam making a birthday note for Noah which we attach to balloons that Liam releases up to the sky. He has talked about bringing presents up to Heaven to give to Noah. Since we can’t give presents to Noah, we make a donation that gives toys to children in the hospital.


We do something fun that Liam wants to do such as going to the zoo or swimming. I include an extra candle in Noah’s honor on the cake for Liam to blow out, and we sing Happy Birthday including both boys’ names. Though my husband and I may shed a few tears at some point during the day, it is a celebration of the lives of two little boys who made us a mommy and a daddy.

 
As time goes on, we will probably change what we do. This has been therapeutic for all of us at this point, and Liam may want to do something else as he gets older. I never imagined this is how we would celebrate the twins’ birthday, but it is the reality of our lives now. It is not just Liam’s birthday. That day will forever be Liam and Noah’s birthday. 

A Twins’ Birthday: Noah and Liam