August 23, 2017​

One of the losses that accompanied the death of Noah was my identity as a mother. I became a mother when I found out I was pregnant with twins. I was ecstatic to not only be a mother, but to also have two babies.  I became a member of a moms of multiples group where I met many amazing women and made a few lifelong friends. I looked forward to these meetings for advice and also because these women were fun to be around.

After Noah died, I felt like I no longer belonged to this club. It was another loss socially and how I identified myself as a mother. Everything had always been about raising twins. I never knew what it was like to begin a family with one child until now. I was angry that my toddler was also grieving the loss of his twin brother.

I can’t change what happened. I may have lost the socially comfortable definition of what a mom of twins is, but I will not let that define me. Noah will always be a part of my life, and Liam won’t ever forget him either. I am a mother of twins.

​

If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention
them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that
they died--you're not reminding them. They didn't forget they died. What
you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and
...that is a great gift. - Elizabeth Edwards